I’m just a small town gal with hopes and dreams trying to have it all, but oh boy, I guess I’m still figuring things out And in the imaginary dream universe that exists only in my mind I don’t have to!
in which I am…
A Top Grade Counterfeiter
I would only print million dollar bills in order to save time and cut down on paper costs.
I would bankroll the shot for shot remake of the 1996 classic, Space Jam, with the same plot and the same actors.
I would hire a muscular pool-boy to live in my house and ensure that my coffee mug is never empty or cold and wash my hair and have sex with me and restock the pool noodles when necessary.
I would bribe Mr. Harvard to write a letter proving that I am smarter and all-around way more awesomer than my seventh grade rival, Katherine Russell.
I would cocaine. A shit-ton of coke. ..,
I would acquire a titanium Godzilla-esque robot monster to vanquish all the people and businesses who are constantly pestering me about paying off my student loan debt.